The Politics of Pretty: Feminity and Fuckability

Take up Space – Temmie Ovwasa

The Angels sing Hallelujah,
While your Body bends,
Your left Leg over his right Shoulder,
Your right Leg around his Waist,
You wait for it to be over ,
Like you wait every Night,
You count the usual One to Ten,
You do this Eighteen times,
and then it’s over.

You know,
To him You’re just a Body with a Hole, His Ego is bigger than his Heart,
His Ego does nothing for your Body,
His Ego does nothing for your Soul,
But He tells you once again,
Maybe if your Legs could bend some more,
Without the Flesh of your protruding Belly getting in the way,
Maybe He’d actually be interested in staying a little longer,
In actually pleasing You.

So you make up your Mind,
Just like you did the Night before and the One before that,
To shed more Dead Weight,
To be more flexible,
To wear more Makeup
To be more “Fuckable”.
But no matter how much you bend yourself for Him,
He’ll still never bother to please You.

But You learnt this from your Mother,
Didn’t you?
To bend yourself for any Man that finds You worthy enough to grace his Bed,
To shrink yourself for any Human that finds you Good enough to fit into their Life;
They say You take up a lot of Space,
So if they create Room for You,
It’s a favor.

Your Meals got Smaller,
Your Demons got Bigger,
Your Weight, Heavier;
Darling, Despair weighs a lot more than Body Fat,
Every Inch of your Skin is glorious.

And I swear by the Angels your Mother prays to,
You’ve always been Beautiful,
You’ve always been Worthy.
Take up Space,
Take up Space.

©Temmie Ovwasa


  1. Toyin says:

    Wow… Just wow.
    ‘Despair weighs a lot more than body fat’
    Love it, Loved all of it.
    Because we are bending in different spheres, different spaces not just the bedroom.
    To be politically corrected, we are still getting fucked.
    History has taught us that those who broke were replaced.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 9jafeminista says:

      We’re not allowed to be, only to bend.


  2. Celina says:

    Temmie shud just be president for feminism movement… So great


  3. Mary Roaf says:

    THANK YOU, Temmie, for affirming my journey from “bending to BEING!” I’m waking up from my age-old, bone-marrow-deep conditioning of being “fuckable” from the age of 4 (literally), to now 50. Conflict of still having this brand of fetishization and colonization of a certain type of black femininity still marks the interactions I have with so many (white) men of all ages. Part of me preens at the attention long after my “shelf life” has expired, yet a greater SELF, my true Self, is emerging into a realer, stronger woman intent on extending my full wing span.


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