De-Centering Men in the Nigerian Music Industry

This article was birthed on the premise that music history in Nigeria is incomplete without the contributions that women have made. So far, what we have seem like ghost stories and it’s the same old redundant information that’s available; how so-so was the first woman to do this or that, great records made by women in the past e.t.c. This write up could have gone in a similar direction, a curated list of women we believe you ought to know. However, the realization that a more intensive study of this missing bits of history is required changed the course of the article. Women deserve better than a brief summary of their achievements and when music in Nigeria is in discourse, the names of women shouldn’t be thrown into one messy category.

Lijadu Sisters

The history of the Nigerian music industry has been very male-centred, the contributions and even names of women nearly mythological. Women in Nigeria’s music history remain obscured by the achievements of their male counterparts and mostly come up in conversations that are partial to women, rarely in general terms. The men are idolized, made into pioneers and legends, meanwhile the women remain unacknowledged except for flashy pseudo-feminist references. In conversation and in the historical archives, one realizes how little is known about most of these women, in comparison with their male colleagues.

Mandy Brown Ojugbana


Breaking into the music industry, as with most industries, has always been twice as hard for women. Till date women fight to be taken seriously and given the same respect and benefits men are handed. From the Lijadu Sisters to Tiwa Savage, the narratives continue to share similarities, leaving you to wonder about the so-called progress that is being spoken of. No doubt, the music industry has more female artistes than it ever did, many of whom can boast of as many achievements, if not more, as male artistes in the industry. However, most female artistes do not last long on the scene because the demands made of them by the industry and by society are outrageously biased. The industry goes as far as pitting women against each other in a never ending comparison, often based not on their talents but their sensuality.

Ese Agesse


When one researches music history in Nigeria, there are very few mentions of the women who did music in times past. In fact, the Wikipedia article on Nigeria’s musical history goes into detail on prevalent genres, trends and artistes of the time (50s-90s), all of whom are notably male, afterwards a separate category titled “Women in Music” follows with no more than two paragraphs to summarize the place and influence of women in the industry. This is a reflection of how women singers were and still are being viewed: as complementary fillers. This flippant categorization of women who performed in varying genres and at various points in time, implies that women musicians were never given the same credit and status that their male peers were. That is to say, women who did music were not appreciated for their musical genius only because they were women in a male dominated industry. One can also say that they were viewed as a monolith and that “women in music” may as well be a music genre.

Christy Essien Igbokwe


Nigerian pop music has been heavily contributed to by women like Evi-Edna Ogholi, Mandy Brown Ojugbana, Esse Agesse, Nelly Uchendu and Christy Essien Igbokwe. These women each brought distinct flavour to the Nigerian pop scene. From reggae to highlife to disco, women were heavily involved in the industry, churning out albums and singles. Their songs were nationwide hits during the 70s to 90s, several of them achieving platinum status. Ironically, only their most popular songs have, however, survived the period of their creation, and there’s still talk of missing discographies. One can almost say with certainty that the higher percentages of missing discographies are those produced by women.

Evi Edna Ogholi


Furthermore, the music produced by female artistes in Nigeria has rarely ever been given the critical attention that men’s music has received. Few look past the women to the arrangement of their music, the innovations that they came about or their stylistic input to the industry as a whole. For instance, no one talks about the evolution of the musical style of Asa or the distinct style of reggae that Evi-Edna Ogholi played. Until recently, few people knew about the politically charged music of the Lijadu Sisters who began performing Afrobeats before Fela Kuti came onto the scene. Others like Onyeka Onwenu also remain in the shadow of Fela in terms of her political activism. At the height of the popularity of rock and roll, funk, jazz and disco, Nigerian musicians began to incorporate these genres into their soundscapes. However, only the name of IK Dairo is mentioned when this innovation is spoken of. The Lijadu Sisters did it flawlessly, but it’s out of the history books.

Salawa Abeni


Till now female artists have their personal lives in the spotlight, way more than their careers. A quick Google search of artistes like Ese Agesse and Salawa Abeni reveals tabloid articles pertaining to their sexuality and morality. The former has articles about her lack of a husband, while the latter has articles written about a man threatening to publish her nudes. It is not uncommon to have men take centre stage in discussions about female singers, whether or not the context is positive. Although someone like Salawa Abeni has more introspective articles written about her career due to her popularity, for most others these are few and far between. Writings and conversations exploring the lives of female artistes, in terms of their influences and inspirations, are rarities.

Onyeka Onwenu

The music industry in Nigeria has indulged in donning its female historical figures with interesting titles. Batile Alake is regarded as the mother of Waka, Salawa Abeni, the queen of Waka; Onyeka Onwenu, the elegant stallion; Christy Essien Igbokwe, Nigeria’s lady of songs and so on. A simple minded glance might leave one with the belief that these women were being honoured with these titles. However, there is more than a hint of underlying misogyny. The titles seem more like a replacement of the singers’ personalities, a compensation for their ability to penetrate a system set up without them in mind and one that still isn’t willing to give them their proper accolades. It is perhaps why Christy Essien Igbokwe was not the first president of the Performing Musicians Association of Nigeria (PMAN), but its first female president despite spearheading the project. The so-called appreciation that leads to the bestowment of these titles have apparently not been extended to the work it takes to maintain the legacy of their music. When it comes to women’s music, the industry has been unwilling to exert itself and therefore their work rarely outlives them. Whatever impact women had on the Nigerian music scene in the past has definitely not been of lasting effect because the universal model of significance or greatness is inherently masculine.
Therefore, what is needed is a rewrite of the music history of Nigeria, one that is all encompassing, blind to gender and clear-eyed to achievements and talent. Women in Nigeria’s music history are not only relevant for the purpose of writing Women’s Day articles. Neither should we bring them up only to say that they in fact exist.

Adeyosola is a writer, photographer, fashion enthusiast and of course intersectional feminist.

Sitting on a Man

Uju Anya

Women have a long history of naked protests against abusive male authority. See Kenya, Uganda, Liberia, Cote d’Ivoire.

Igbo women in Nigeria have a protest called ‘sitting on a man’ with nudity, lewd songs, beatings, vulgar displays to bring public scorn and shame on violators.


Remember the slander and abuse hurled at a black woman who spread her legs to directly confront police in a naked protest last month. Recall that when your tl waxes poetic about the beautiful courage of #nakedanthena bussing wide open her magical pussy.


While you contemplate the rank racism and misogynoir of calling a white woman who staged a naked public protest ‘goddess’ and a black woman who did the same ‘ratchet’, Google the history of women using nudity and lewd acts in civil disobedience.

In-Focus: Michael Akanji

Michael is a member of the Nigerian Drug Demand Reduction Technical Working Group; National HIV Prevention Technical Working Group, UNDP African Regional Key Population Expert Working Group and a 2015 Fellow of the International Visitors Leadership Program on LGBTI Human Rights and Advocacy of the US government. Also, he is currently the Key Population Advisor with Heartland Alliance International, Nigeria.

Michael Akanji was born on 1st September 1984 and studied Electronics Engineering at the Federal Polytechnic, Nasarawa and Federal University of Technology, Minna, Niger State Nigeria. He progressed to the University of San Diego, where he studied Gender Studies and became an alumnus in 2016 with a degree in Gender Studies. In 2017, Michael obtained a Graduate Certificate from the University of Massachusetts, Lowell in Peace and Conflict resolution with specialization in intra-personal peace and gender identity.

Michael works on human rights using the public health approach for Sexual minorities and a Sexual Health and Rights Advocate with over a decade experience on LGBTI issues and interventions in West Africa and trained in Peace and Conflict resolution with expertise in Intra-personal Conflict. In 2019, obtained professional development certificate in leadership and management in health, implementation science and project management from the University of Washington.

Mr Michael Akanji was part of the Research Team for the UN 2000 Young People Report on the progress made on the “UNGASS Declaration of Commitment on HIV/AIDS: Our Voices Our Future” (https://www.unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/youth_UNGASS.pdf) and also contributed to various publications on Key Population and LGBTI issues, which includes: MSM in Sub-Saharan Africa: Health, Access,& HIV:  Findings from the 2012 Global Men’s Health & Rights (GMHR) Study (http://msmgf.org/files/msmgf/documents/MSMinSSA_PolicyBrief.pdf); The Nigerian MSM Health Scorecard: a tool for assessing and monitoring the accountability of stakeholders in advancing the health of men who have sex with men (MSM) in Nigeria.

Michael has served as a member of the Local Organizing Committee of the First National Conference on Inclusivity, Equality  And Diversity in University Education in Nigeria, 2017 (http://inclusivity2017.com/speaker/mr-michael-akanji/).  He is a co author of the book “Through the Gender Lens” edited by Funmi Soetan and Bola Akanji.

Michael has attended several pieces of training on Sexual Health and Rights advocacy; Population and Reproductive Health; Youth and Sexuality; Sexuality and Culture; Religion and Human Rights and key population programming, security, Research methodology among others and a trained paralegal with the American Bar Association Rule of Law Initiative.

Michael is the director of The Initiative for Equal Rights (TIERs) a community center and safe space for gay Nigerians.

Evolution of a Superweapon (as she’s about to hit forty) – Hawa Jande Golakai

RUIN: A PHOENIX ARISES (a pictomap of womanhood)

Thou shalt not hurt or publicly display rage, pain, shame, loss, filth or any form of brokenness.

Thou shalt despise correction and never seek help.

Thou shalt keep your face in the Strong Black Woman sunshine until it burns you to a crisp.

RUIN: A WOMAN IN HER PRIME (a pictomap of womanhood)Thou shalt BE.

Be intelligent (but non-threateningly). Be sexy (but don’t show it off like a ho). Be ambitious (but not aggressive). Be curious (but don’t nag). Be firm (but not a bitch). Be a giver (but don’t cling). Be a great parent, daughter, friend, neighbor. Be a bawse. Be rich (by magic). Be a great partner by never asking for anything you want directly. Be knowledgeable of everything under God’s sun.

Be.

BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE. NEVER SHOW OR BE AWARE OF ALL YOUR POWER. Don’t be kind and good; be “humble”.

Never get tired. Ever. Always prostrate yourself to give and forgive.

RUIN: ASCENDANT (a pictomap of womanhood)

Thou shalt allow others to define how strong, sane and sapient you are.
Allow every hardship to break and reshape you. Never be proud of crafting your fears and weaknesses into strengths.

RUIN: SCION (a pictomap of womanhood)

[If thou so chooseth]: Thou shalt have a close encounter of the 4th kind with at least one of your ova. It’s worth it 💚💛💜❤🌺🌻🌺💙🏵.

PS. Make it accidental, to maximise the horror and comedic effect.

SUPERWEAPON ( a pictomap of womanhood)

(OR.)

Damn all the advice to hell. You were there alone; you built the only map out.
Assemble all your broken pieces and create anew. Be your ancestors’ wildest dreams and deepest nightmares.

I LOVE YOU, HJG. God continue to bless you and entertain your madness. 💛💚💜💙💜❤🌻🌺🏵👑

Hawa Jande Golakai was born in Germany and hails from Liberia, where she spent a lively childhood before the 1990 civil war erupted. She writes crime, speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction, horror, magical realism) and is in an unhealthy relationship with all twisted tales. A medical immunologist by training, she now works as a literary judge, creative consultant and educator. Golakai is on the Africa39 list of most promising sub-Saharan African writers under the age of 40. She is the winner of the 2017 Brittle Paper Award for nonfiction, longlisted for the 2019 NOMMO Award for speculative fiction and nominated three times for fiction. In addition to two novels, her articles and short stories have featured in BBC, Granta, Omenana, Cassava Republic, Myriad Editions and other publications. Currently, she lives in Monrovia with her son and too many chickens.

Photo Credit: Kanda V. Golakai

Nigerian Politics and her Diversity Problem

Diversity requires commitment. Achieving the superior performance diversity can produce needs further action – most notably, a commitment to develop a culture of inclusion. People do not just need to be different, they need to be fully involved and feel their voices are heard. – Alain Dehaze

It is election season in Nigeria, and as become the norm, our newsfeeds and timelines are chock-full of politicians, political jobbers and their shenanigans.

From the catastrophe that masqueraded as re-run elections in Osun State, to party primaries marred by confusion and hyperbolic counting of voters in Kano State, Nigeria has once again displayed an inability to manage the most mundane task without her trade-in-mark incompetence.

However, one thing that has been a constant, in Nigerian politics are the men, old men. Some of whom have been in power since Nigerian Independence 58years ago. These men that have done everything they can to keep their stranglehold on the country, running it deeper into poverty.

Reductive Reasoning: Federal Character = Inclusiveness and Diversity

The “federal character” principle, which has been enshrined in Nigeria’s Constitution since 1979, seeks to ensure that appointments to public service institutions fairly reflect the linguistic, ethnic, religious, and geographic diversity of the country. – Ladipo Adamolekun et al, 1991, “Federal Character” and management of the Federal Civil Service and the Military

Nigeria has 250 ethnic groups, speaking over 1000 languages within its borders, and in order to ensure that every cultural group participates in, and furthers its economic and socio-political growth, the Federal Character Principle was enshrined in Nigeria’s constitution in 1979, but this principle appears to have room only for these same old men.

Although signatory to the United Nations Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women(CEDAW), and the African Charter on Human and People’s Rights, the stance of the Nigerian government appears to be that of dismissal and disinterest in the inclusion of women in governance.

In 2017, several attempts were made to introduce two bills that would ensure that governance and public life would be more diverse in Nigeria, Senators Biodun Olujimi, Binta Garba and Rose Oko, supported a bill seeking 35% Affirmative Action at the Federal level, and 20% at state level. The second is the Gender Equality Bill, which was practically sneered off the floor of the House of Assembly.

In spite of evidence to the contrary, especially with women running successful privately owned companies and chairing government parastatals, Nigerian Senators still subscribe to the notion of gender roles and the place of women in the kitchen.

On the surface, it appears that the Nigerian populace is, at least, willing, to entertain the idea of diversifying policy making and other government apparatus that would ensure a wider pool of opinions and voices, but the Not Too Young to Run bill, that was recently passed into law seems to be nothing but a publicity stunt.

The act ’empowers’ people who are 25years to run for office, but the original age in the constitution is actually 30years, a mere 5year gap, in spite of the fact that 30year olds are allowed to run for office, there isn’t a single 30year old in any political office in Nigeria as things stand.

Diversity and Inclusivity as drivers of National Development

In a world that has historically silenced and written out women’s voices, it is even more important that we open up spaces to all genders, especially women and other marginalized groups. So we can include their voices in the present, to build the future we all want to be a part of. Numbers matter, visibility matters, inclusion matters, and we can’t continue to sideline important voices. We must be deliberate in fair representation when it concerns our speakers, panels, attendees, contributors, consumers. We must make space for a multiplicity of voices that reflects the variety of the space we work and operate in.- Xeenarh Mohammed Author/Activist

Prebendalism refers to political systems where elected officials, and government workers feel they have a right to a share of government revenues, and use them to benefit their supporters, co-religionists and members of their ethnic group – Wikipedia

Nigeria is run on a patronage system, as made even more apparent by the in-fighting presently going on in different political parties. The system is patriarchal and deeply corrupt, these three major issues are hallmarks of countries with little or no inclusivity and diversity, which leads to poor development indices.

With a system that encourages favoritism, it would be difficult to get a wide pool of competent people putting forth ideas and having the requisite skills to execute them. Worse still, with girls and women making up a little more than half of the population, it is incomprehensible that old men are the only ones in positions to make and execute policies affecting everyone.

The more there is a perpetuation of the self and ego, over a large population and issues affecting them, the deeper the divide between the rich and poor will become.

Several studies have established the fact that diversity and inclusion are the major drivers of innovation and this affects everything. Nigeria’s present indices as one of the poorest countries in the world seems to have no chance of improvement anytime soon.

Ayodele Olofintuade is a journalist, writer and feminist.

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela: Truth-butes (II)

Editor’s Note: Day two of curating the tributes and thoughts of African feminists about Winnie Madikizela-Mandela (26th September 1936 – 2nd April 2018).

As expected there are a lot of disrespectful narratives shared on several platforms downplaying Winnie’s role in the liberation of South Africa, bringing home the importance of the alternative voices insisting on telling her story as is.

I was silent for quite a while before I could even attempt to unknot my feelings.

The only person whose legitimacy I have ever recognized as Mother of a nation.

‘I am me; I am black; I must be proud of my blackness. – Winnie Madikizela-Mandela

Winnie Mandela was a woman of outstanding courage. She kept Mandela’s name alive for 27 eternal years and helped create the myth of the unseen Mandela. When Mandela gained freedom, Winnie had to be torn down in order to create a new Mandela myth. A woman’s lot. Rest in Power.

“I am not [Nelson] Mandela’s product. I am the product of the masses of my country and the product of my enemy.” ~Mama Winnie Mandela

Thabo Mbeki had better keep quiet.

And my, something that is not often remarked upon: Winnie Mandela was a great beauty.

‘Are you aware she used violence,’ someone tweets at me.

As if the men that took part in the guerrilla struggle went into the bush to eat scones.

I have today avoided going to the great world news sites to read their obituaries of Winnie Mandela, something I would ordinarily do. They are too invested in a skewed narrative of Winnie. So, I quarantine myself of them. And I am watching not CNN but SABC’s respectful coverage.

Goodnight, Winnie Mandela
On this day I tried
To reclaim the narrative.
I kept the faith.
And you,
You tried.
You did.
Goodnight, Winnie Mandela.
#RestInPower

Molara Wood. Writer, Cultural Activist, Feminist.

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela: Truth-butes

Editor’s Note: Over the next few days we’ll be curating the tributes and thoughts of African feminists about Winnie Madikizela-Mandela (26th September 1936 – 2nd April 2018), her life and activism.

Bibi Bakare-Yusuf

RIP Winnie Mandela, you indomitable spirit, sleep tight. You live on.
Here is Winnie in her own words: “The overwhelming majority of women accept patriarchy unquestioningly and even protect it, working out the resultant frustrations not against men but against themselves in their competition for men as sons, lovers and husbands. Traditionally the violated wife bides her time and off-loads her built-in aggression on her daughter-in-law.So men dominate women through the agency of women themselves.” Let’s share her words before CNN, Sky, BBC and White South African media machinery do it for us.

In reference to Winnie, people should stop saying, ‘obviously she was imperfect’. Erh, imperfection is part of what makes us human or did people forget the memo? Or is it only applicable to black women? Till you can present a perfect human, shut up!!

And then when you say, ‘she is a complicated figure’, do you want her to be simple and bland? The starting point of our discourse about her life should not be that she was ‘an imperfect or complicated figure’, that should be assumed – she is human damn it!

Let’s talk about what she made possible precisely because of her imperfection and complexity. Let’s talk about her challenge to the rule of the father (black and white), let’s talk about her confrontation with white supremacy and her rejection of the Christian notion of truth and reconciliation, let’s talk about how she responded to a violent and violating system and see what lesson we can learn from it today. Yes, let’s talk about how she handled power and agency. But please don’t go be saying she is a complicated and imperfect figure. She deserves better!

SHE CALLED ME WOMAN: COVER REVEAL RELEASE

‘These true stories are beautifully
told, the pain and honesty and
hope and joy in these accounts is
strong like a song’ – Stella Duffy

SHE CALLED ME WOMAN:
NIGERIA’S QUEER WOMEN
SPEAK
PUB. DATE: 24th April 2018
Published by Cassava Republic
Press PRINT ISBN: 978-1911115595
FORMAT: C-format PB, 135 x 216
mm EXTENT: 360pp
GENRE: Non-Fiction PRICE: £12.
99

Cassava Republic Press is proud to reveal the cover for ‘She Called
Me Woman: Nigeria’s Queer
Women Speak’, a ground-
breaking collection of 25 first-
hand narratives from a cross
section of queer Nigerian Women.
Edited by Azeenarh Mohammed,
Chitra Nagarajan, and Rafeeat
Aliyu, these narratives give the
reader access to the narrators’
innermost thoughts and explore
what it means to be a queer
woman within Nigeria’s often
deeply conservative communities.
Through their words, we learn
of first loves, heartbreaks and familial pressure; the struggle to
reconcile religion, sexuality and
culture; the battle to be
comfortable with one’s gender and
sexual identity within
communities that can be hostile
and intolerant; the socioeconomic
pressures and universal difficulties
faced by women in Nigeria.
She Called Me Woman restores
agency, presence and humanity to
Nigeria’s queer women by
providing a platform from which
they speak for themselves. Women
from a wide range of class, religion
and educational backgrounds take the reader on a sometimes

celebratory, sometimes troubled
but always insightful journey into
their everyday life. The book covers
the experience of queer women
from across Nigeria, with narrators
coming from Maiduguri, Zamfara,
Imo, Oyo, Abuja, Plateau, Lagos,
Ondo and more. It restores balance
in the discussion on sexuality and
gender, which can unfairly favour
queer men. It brings into
mainstream consciousness the
existence and issues of queer
women in Nigerian society,
ensuring that their stories are told and their voices heard.

Race, identity, Body Dysmorphia and the Nigerian Woman

One of the most used beauty brands on the continent, Dove, came under fire for their most recent advertisement.

Continue reading “Race, identity, Body Dysmorphia and the Nigerian Woman”

Messages, Misogyny and Nigerian Entertainment: Part II

Where were we?  Oh yes, gender messages from the entertainment industry that irritate me or put another way, the reason why when I’m consuming Nigerian entertainment, I’m usually either  angry or pretending not to be a feminist.

 

  1. The enlightened artist poking light fun at women. These are the kind of artists that I usually could listen to and watch all day – clever, funny, enlightened young men, banging beats, trendy hip outfits, cool dance moves, interesting lyrics…until the topic turns to women. Then they turn into finger wagging, self-righteous turds with indulgent grins on their faces as they tell you that they are good men but really! Aren’t women just generally unreasonable?!

I have no objection to men singing or rapping about bad experiences with women (it’s only when I realise how often female artists in Nigeria sing about how keen they are to die for a man they’ve just met that my mood turns dark) but again it’s the generalisation, the division, lack of any attempt to analyse societal reasons for this so-called unreasonable behaviour, the assumption that they can tell us what to be that ….well let’s just say it upsets me a bit. I will just add that perhaps if some of these artists had women staff above the role of receptionist, they may have a more rounded view of the female gender.

  1. Male celebrities that bemoan the fact that women of nowadays are no longer like their mothers and that the search for modern, new-fangled things like gender equality, a desire to be treated decently and some semblance of a life outside the family is what is ruining marriages. I won’t waste too much time on this one as I will be veering into the murky world of lambasting people whose view-points are the exact opposite of mine. I doubt if those people would have gotten past line 3 of this rant. I’ll just say this, what ruins marriages is bad behaviour. It could be bad behaviour of either or both spouses. However, when men behave badly and women do not put up with it, the women are ruining the marriages and/or failing to keep her toddler-king, sorry husband, from completely throwing his toys out the pram.
  2. Lyrics. So many examples but this one stands outs:  If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then according to some Nigerian songs, the way to a woman’s heart is through mild but consistent harassment. Let me illustrate:

“I say I need you girl

You say you need some time

But time e no dey girl

Answer me on time

I dey beg you say make you follow me

You tell say you no love me” (from Sade by Adekunle Gold)

Well then, I think the answer is no, mate. There is a similar (but somewhat more aggressive) sentiment in his song ‘Friendzone’.

The singer (who I love and who has written many wonderful songs celebrating the humanity of women) is of course only expressing what already happens in society.   Some would even say the characters in his songs are being romantic. Certainly, when I was growing up in Nigeria, a guy was expected to chase a girl and if he accepted the first (and second and third) no, he wasn’t ‘serious’. Similarly, if a girl said yes to a date at the first ask then she was ‘easy’ and the victory was not ‘sweet’. To be fair, all over the world, the chase is lauded as a sign of true romance.

However, when does no mean no? Isn’t this game dangerous in respect of the issue of consent? What happened when I was growing up was that a girl had to finally tell the guy in an aggressive, unpleasant and rude way that she wasn’t interested for him to finally get the message. Any niceness was a sign that there was still a chance.

 

  1. When a male celebrity is caught cheating and there’s the understandable and predictable backlash on social media or wherever and some pompous soul takes it upon him (or her) self to point out that no one ever said the man in question was a ‘perfect husband’

Apparently the only qualification for being a perfect husband is not cheating. A perfect wife, on the other hand, needs to be a great cook (and cook all the time), raise perfect children, have a flawless and youthful figure and face, have her own money, hand you her salary every month, NEVER question you, be humble, wash her husband’s pants by hand, cure cancer…you get the picture. Cheating doesn’t come into it. A woman who cheats is a demon. A man who cheats is ‘not perfect’. All together ladies “WE ARE NOT ASKING FOR YOU TO BE PERFECT, JUST DON’T CHEAT (and add disgrace by letting them catch your ass on camera)!!!!!”

Rant over. Soapbox under the bed. I’m just glad we’re having the conversation.

 

Tracy Ofarn