Sitting on a Man

Uju Anya

Women have a long history of naked protests against abusive male authority. See Kenya, Uganda, Liberia, Cote d’Ivoire.

Igbo women in Nigeria have a protest called ‘sitting on a man’ with nudity, lewd songs, beatings, vulgar displays to bring public scorn and shame on violators.

Remember the slander and abuse hurled at a black woman who spread her legs to directly confront police in a naked protest last month. Recall that when your tl waxes poetic about the beautiful courage of #nakedanthena bussing wide open her magical pussy.

While you contemplate the rank racism and misogynoir of calling a white woman who staged a naked public protest ‘goddess’ and a black woman who did the same ‘ratchet’, Google the history of women using nudity and lewd acts in civil disobedience.

In-Focus: Michael Akanji

Michael is a member of the Nigerian Drug Demand Reduction Technical Working Group; National HIV Prevention Technical Working Group, UNDP African Regional Key Population Expert Working Group and a 2015 Fellow of the International Visitors Leadership Program on LGBTI Human Rights and Advocacy of the US government. Also, he is currently the Key Population Advisor with Heartland Alliance International, Nigeria.

Michael Akanji was born on 1^st September 1984 and studied Electronics Engineering at the Federal Polytechnic, Nasarawa and Federal University of Technology, Minna, Niger State Nigeria. He progressed to the University of San Diego, where he studied Gender Studies and became an alumnus in 2016 with a degree in Gender Studies. In 2017, Michael obtained a Graduate Certificate from the University of Massachusetts, Lowell in Peace and Conflict resolution with specialization in intra-personal peace and gender identity.

Michael works on human rights using the public health approach for Sexual minorities and a Sexual Health and Rights Advocate with over a decade experience on LGBTI issues and interventions in West Africa and trained in Peace and Conflict resolution with expertise in Intra-personal Conflict. In 2019, obtained professional development certificate in leadership and management in health, implementation science and project management from the University of Washington.

Mr Michael Akanji was part of the Research Team for the UN 2000 Young People Report on the progress made on the “UNGASS Declaration of Commitment on HIV/AIDS: Our Voices Our Future” (https://www.unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/youth_UNGASS.pdf) and also contributed to various publications on Key Population and LGBTI issues, which includes: MSM in Sub-Saharan Africa: Health, Access,& HIV:  Findings from the 2012 Global Men’s Health & Rights (GMHR) Study (http://msmgf.org/files/msmgf/documents/MSMinSSA_PolicyBrief.pdf); The Nigerian MSM Health Scorecard: a tool for assessing and monitoring the accountability of stakeholders in advancing the health of men who have sex with men (MSM) in Nigeria.

Michael has served as a member of the Local Organizing Committee of the First National Conference on Inclusivity, Equality  And Diversity in University Education in Nigeria, 2017 (http://inclusivity2017.com/speaker/mr-michael-akanji/).  He is a co author of the book “Through the Gender Lens” edited by Funmi Soetan and Bola Akanji.

Michael has attended several pieces of training on Sexual Health and Rights advocacy; Population and Reproductive Health; Youth and Sexuality; Sexuality and Culture; Religion and Human Rights and key population programming, security, Research methodology among others and a trained paralegal with the American Bar Association Rule of Law Initiative.

Michael is the director of The Initiative for Equal Rights (TIERs) a community center and safe space for gay Nigerians.

Evolution of a Superweapon (as she’s about to hit forty) – Hawa Jande Golakai

RUIN: A PHOENIX ARISES (a pictomap of womanhood)

Thou shalt not hurt or publicly display rage, pain, shame, loss, filth or any form of brokenness.

Thou shalt despise correction and never seek help.

Thou shalt keep your face in the Strong Black Woman sunshine until it burns you to a crisp.

RUIN: A WOMAN IN HER PRIME (a pictomap of womanhood)Thou shalt BE.

Be intelligent (but non-threateningly). Be sexy (but don’t show it off like a ho). Be ambitious (but not aggressive). Be curious (but don’t nag). Be firm (but not a bitch). Be a giver (but don’t cling). Be a great parent, daughter, friend, neighbor. Be a bawse. Be rich (by magic). Be a great partner by never asking for anything you want directly. Be knowledgeable of everything under God’s sun.

Be.

BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE. NEVER SHOW OR BE AWARE OF ALL YOUR POWER. Don’t be kind and good; be “humble”.

Never get tired. Ever. Always prostrate yourself to give and forgive.

RUIN: ASCENDANT (a pictomap of womanhood)

Thou shalt allow others to define how strong, sane and sapient you are.
Allow every hardship to break and reshape you. Never be proud of crafting your fears and weaknesses into strengths.

RUIN: SCION (a pictomap of womanhood)

[If thou so chooseth]: Thou shalt have a close encounter of the 4th kind with at least one of your ova. It’s worth it 💚💛💜❤🌺🌻🌺💙🏵.

PS. Make it accidental, to maximise the horror and comedic effect.

SUPERWEAPON ( a pictomap of womanhood)

(OR.)

Damn all the advice to hell. You were there alone; you built the only map out.
Assemble all your broken pieces and create anew. Be your ancestors’ wildest dreams and deepest nightmares.

I LOVE YOU, HJG. God continue to bless you and entertain your madness. 💛💚💜💙💜❤🌻🌺🏵👑

Hawa Jande Golakai was born in Germany and hails from Liberia, where she spent a lively childhood before the 1990 civil war erupted. She writes crime, speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction, horror, magical realism) and is in an unhealthy relationship with all twisted tales. A medical immunologist by training, she now works as a literary judge, creative consultant and educator. Golakai is on the Africa39 list of most promising sub-Saharan African writers under the age of 40. She is the winner of the 2017 Brittle Paper Award for nonfiction, longlisted for the 2019 NOMMO Award for speculative fiction and nominated three times for fiction. In addition to two novels, her articles and short stories have featured in BBC, Granta, Omenana, Cassava Republic, Myriad Editions and other publications. Currently, she lives in Monrovia with her son and too many chickens.

Photo Credit: Kanda V. Golakai

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela: Truth-butes (II)

Editor’s Note: Day two of curating the tributes and thoughts of African feminists about Winnie Madikizela-Mandela (26th September 1936 – 2nd April 2018).

As expected there are a lot of disrespectful narratives shared on several platforms downplaying Winnie’s role in the liberation of South Africa, bringing home the importance of the alternative voices insisting on telling her story as is.

I was silent for quite a while before I could even attempt to unknot my feelings.

The only person whose legitimacy I have ever recognized as Mother of a nation.

‘I am me; I am black; I must be proud of my blackness. – Winnie Madikizela-Mandela

Winnie Mandela was a woman of outstanding courage. She kept Mandela’s name alive for 27 eternal years and helped create the myth of the unseen Mandela. When Mandela gained freedom, Winnie had to be torn down in order to create a new Mandela myth. A woman’s lot. Rest in Power.

“I am not [Nelson] Mandela’s product. I am the product of the masses of my country and the product of my enemy.” ~Mama Winnie Mandela

Thabo Mbeki had better keep quiet.

And my, something that is not often remarked upon: Winnie Mandela was a great beauty.

‘Are you aware she used violence,’ someone tweets at me.

As if the men that took part in the guerrilla struggle went into the bush to eat scones.

I have today avoided going to the great world news sites to read their obituaries of Winnie Mandela, something I would ordinarily do. They are too invested in a skewed narrative of Winnie. So, I quarantine myself of them. And I am watching not CNN but SABC’s respectful coverage.

Goodnight, Winnie Mandela
On this day I tried
To reclaim the narrative.
I kept the faith.
And you,
You tried.
You did.
Goodnight, Winnie Mandela.
#RestInPower

Molara Wood. Writer, Cultural Activist, Feminist.

Winnie Madikizela-Mandela: Truth-butes

Editor’s Note: Over the next few days we’ll be curating the tributes and thoughts of African feminists about Winnie Madikizela-Mandela (26th September 1936 – 2nd April 2018), her life and activism.

Bibi Bakare-Yusuf

RIP Winnie Mandela, you indomitable spirit, sleep tight. You live on.
Here is Winnie in her own words: “The overwhelming majority of women accept patriarchy unquestioningly and even protect it, working out the resultant frustrations not against men but against themselves in their competition for men as sons, lovers and husbands. Traditionally the violated wife bides her time and off-loads her built-in aggression on her daughter-in-law.So men dominate women through the agency of women themselves.” Let’s share her words before CNN, Sky, BBC and White South African media machinery do it for us.

In reference to Winnie, people should stop saying, ‘obviously she was imperfect’. Erh, imperfection is part of what makes us human or did people forget the memo? Or is it only applicable to black women? Till you can present a perfect human, shut up!!

And then when you say, ‘she is a complicated figure’, do you want her to be simple and bland? The starting point of our discourse about her life should not be that she was ‘an imperfect or complicated figure’, that should be assumed – she is human damn it!

Let’s talk about what she made possible precisely because of her imperfection and complexity. Let’s talk about her challenge to the rule of the father (black and white), let’s talk about her confrontation with white supremacy and her rejection of the Christian notion of truth and reconciliation, let’s talk about how she responded to a violent and violating system and see what lesson we can learn from it today. Yes, let’s talk about how she handled power and agency. But please don’t go be saying she is a complicated and imperfect figure. She deserves better!

Bisi’s Wedding Diaries

5 October at 07:50 

As today marks exactly 30 days to my wedding, I will be doing 30 things to be grateful for. Today, I am grateful for #airport. I never thought in my life I would spend so much time at airports, neither did I know that the world will be my oyster. Coming from #Mushin, we were made to know that people like us can only dream. I am happy that like the dream of getting married, airport has given my dream of world domination wings to fly. #gaymarriage#30daysofthankfulness

6 October at 11:57 

Day 2 of 30 days to my wedding of 30 things to be grateful of. On the 6th October 2004, I sat on that sofa with Funmi Iyanda and I came out. She gave me the opportunity in no patronizing nor condescending way to tell my story. On that day I learnt the power of truth and authenticity. I learnt that life is what you make of it. I was a 29years old boy, just graduating from university with a prominent role in ‘Roses and Thorns’ a soap series on Galaxy Television. I lost everything after coming, but I gained today. Life was preparing for a journey beyond my expectations. In 29 days, I will say I do to a man I have come to find solace in his arms. #gaymarriage#30daysofthankfulness #newdawnwithfunmiiyanda #comingout#lgbtcomingout #authenticity #ido

7 October at 08:42 ·

Day 3 of 30 days of thankfulness of 30 days to my wedding. In 2014, around about this time, a friend sent me an email to a link to a fellowship program. I have applied for a couple before then and I have always been rejected. So when he sent me the form, I looked over it and ignored it. It will be another rejection. Two weeks later, my agent called me and said she saw a fellowship that she thinks will be great for me, it was the same fellowship. I told her I am not interested. She pushed me and I told her they will not pick me as I am not good enough. The following week, I was at Funmi Iyanda’s and she told me about the same fellowship and she was like ‘I am also a fellow of similar program with same organisation, I can nominate you’. She made me see why I should at least try.
So I went home and spent the night filling the form. I sent it to my agent who read it and made some corrections and add more information. She was angry that my low self esteem has made me leave out very important information. We sent the form and waited. A big part of me was waiting but the doubting part of me just kept telling me, get in with life. Few months later, I was in Berlin with my agent when the email came. I couldn’t open it. I thought it was rejection, but she did and screamed for job. I have been shortlisted. I was not happy, i felt it was just prolonging my rejection. Few weeks later, I did a Skype interview with the team in DC and few weeks later I received another email. I have been selected.
I became a fellow of @aspeninstitute and #aspennewvoices. It was a journey that changed my life. I started having platforms I never thought of in my life. I started having access to people that will look at me and instantly believe in me and want to help me make that dream come true. Through the fellowship, I was trained by @mothstories and then I did #tedxberlin and I have travelled around the world. I have written a lot of articles and became friends with @caitlynjenner and many more.

It feels so surreal when I think about it. It is this reason that today, on my 3rd day of thanksfulness, I want to thank the team at Aspen New Voices and my fellow fellows for believing in me.

10 October at 10:34 ·  

Day 6 of 30 days to my wedding of 30 things to be grateful for. Today I want to be thankful for my childhood. Many times we concentrate on the now and forgetting the journey it took to get to now. The laughter, the joy, the pains and the tears. My childhood was not perfect and I am happy it was not, but it was a journey I am proud of. I carry my joy and pains on the sleeves but most importantly, my childhood taught me what matters in the world. The essence of compassion, love and empathy. I learnt that sitting on the fence was not a neutral act. That silence is not golden. That boy can not and should not always be boys at the expense of girls. That I can play with dolls, pink dolls, pain my face and catwalk. Yes, sometimes I get beaten for it, but the hard headed boy I was, my passion and not the rejection was my childhood driver. As a loner, growing up in my head and in my world, I hardly make excuse for my action. I was thought to say sorry when wrong and never to say it unless I am sure I am wrong. I spent my childhood being a child and maybe that’s why, as a adult, I am still a child. Get angry like a child, smile like a child, think like a child, eat like one, sleep like one, and perform like one. I am Peter Pan but with the vision of an adult. Dear Ademola, Ojo, Kazeem, Iyanda Alimi, thanks for making the adult that is Adebisi Ademola Alimi. Next month I will marry my husband with the spirit of a child, will laugh with that spirit, enjoy the moment that my childhood has spent 41years preparing for my adulthood. In the presence of my friends, families and loved one, with shine on my face like a proud child, I will look into the eyes of my lover and say; I DO! #equalmarriage #samesexwedding#gaymarriage #ido #childhood #growingup

11 October at 11:55 · 

Day 7 of 30 to my wedding of 30 things to be grateful for. I want to celebrate everyone of you that has refused to turn a blind eye to bullying. Be it sexism, homophobia, racism, fatism, shortism and any other horrible isms out there that makes other look in the mirror and hate themselves. You bravely has given many people the courage to see another. You might not know this, but it is true. Every time to put a bully in their place and hug their victim, you have touched a life with love and compassion. Making life worthy is not in the amount of money you invest in it, but the amount of love. On social media a lot of people think it is their responsibility to invade other people’s space, call them names and tell them out to live their lives. I have been a victim of that. Many times I really would love to log off and delete my profile but gosh! You guys will not only stand up to these insecure people who wants to use other as a source of self confidence, but many of you will send messages and ring me. Today is to you. Thank you.
That is why I am begging you, that come the 20th of this month, join me and @glaad and other millions of people in the world as we say NO! to bullies. Turn your page purple in honour of people who lost their lives because of insecurities of others. You never know, you might just be saving the life of someone, destined to make the world a better place. Once again, to you all! Thank you #spiritday #spiritday2016 #ido #samesexwedding #gaymarriage#equalmarriage

A brief conversation with Mandy Brown Ojugbana: … we are masterful, spiritual, and all powerful beings…

From the Editor’s Desk: In 1986, around the time Nigeria was reinventing hip-hop and reggae to suit ourselves, the way we have always done, Mandy Brown Ojugbana burst on to the music scene with a remix of Taxi Driver (Taxi Driver – Mandy Brown Ojugbana) – an highlife song originally done by Bobby Benson in the late sixties and turned it into an instant hit that had people of all ages and convictions moving their bodies to its rhythm.

Before the Blackky’s and the Ese Agese’s and Mandators was Mz Ojugbana, a sixteen year old who was rubbing shoulders with the greats like Mike Okri and Majek Fashek.

Ms Ojugbana’s music was a welcome departure from American music which had taken over the airwaves in those days and your party was considered incomplete without a track or two from her first album, Breakthrough.

In 1988, at the age of 18, Ms Ojugbana released her second album and almost in the same breath disappeared from the Nigerian music scene.

In an undated interview with Funmi Iyanda on New Dawn, one of the biggest talk shows in the history of Nigerian television, Mandy Brown Ojugbana talked about her need to spread her wings and find herself (New Dawn Interview with Mandy).

And that was exactly what she did.

She attended London Academy of Film and TV, worked with Channel 4 TV in the UK and then returned to Nigeria and worked on Radio and Television for some time.

She presently lives in the United Kingdom and is constantly reinventing herself and changing things around her.

9jafeminista: How did you cope with the patriarchal structure of the Music Industry while you were the queen of pop?

Mandy Brown Ojugbana: There was no perceived structure of that nature, I was completely focused on the work at hand which was touring and creating.

9jafeminista:  Why did you drop off the radar andwhat have you been up to?

Mandy Brown Ojugbana: I started in the music business quite early and was signed up to a record company called Otto Records at 15 or 16. I was working with them when Faze 2 records brought me in to work on another record. .I had been working constantly and needed time to discover myself and explore other avenues. This led me into the world of media . I went on to work in TV and Radio which I thoroughly enjoyed.

9jafeminista:  Were you friends with Tina Onwudiwe?

Mandy Brown Ojugbana: Tina Onwudiwe was more of a big sister mentor figure . I looked up to her and admired her work both in music and fashion. She also used to design outfits for my shows .

9jafeminista:  How did it feel like being a superstar?

Mandy Brown Ojugbana: I don’t think I ever once felt like a superstar, I was living in the moment and doing the work .I have always loved to be in a creative process be it song writing , creating new dance routines . Researching and creating programming for radio and TV.

9jafeminista:  Are there any changes in the way women were treated in the past and now? Any better any worse?

Mandy Brown Ojugbana: Women have always had to fight harder and be smarter for their voices to be heard. I think men are beginning to get the message . We are a powerful force that cannot be quieted.

9jafeminista:  In which ways do you feel all powerful as a Nigerian woman?

Mandy Brown Ojugbana: Nigeria has made me who I am today , being raised in a “can do” society has given me the tenacity, drive, and confidence to believe in myself and the power I wield as a woman . Even though it appears we live in a male driven society when we look through African history there have always been strong black women, Amina queen of Zaria in the 15 th century , Makeda Queen of Sheba 960BC and Candace Empress of Ethiopia . These were strong warrior queens, military tacticians. We need to remind ourselves as women never to sell ourselves short, we are masterful spiritual and all powerful beings responsible for bringing life into the world. I remind myself as I wake to walk in the light of powerful women both past and present ,in them and there successes lies my strength . Lies our strength . We as women need to band together as a sisterhood stemming our petty quarrels the world is for the taking and we are the takers!

 

Bibi Bakare-Yusuf on Bey’s Lemonade and bell hooks’ critique

Bibi

Just finished reading bell hooks analysis of Bey’s Lemonade and I am struggling to understand what the attack on her is all about. Even though I have been the subject of a public attack by bell hooks in my mid-20s, I always appreciate her theorising.

In relation to Lemonade, hooks has provided a necessary critique that builds on and expands the scope of the film’s narrative arc beyond just the naming of: black sisterhood of pain and trauma, our power of self-objectification and naming, our continued investment and participation in both the white scopic regime and our excavating of a repressed and liberating Africanity.

hooks’ critique is an invitation to enjoy Lemonade without completely losing ourselves in the saccharine and slick celebration of freedom and black female empowerment. It is very easy to be seduced by the self-styling, the gorgeous presentation of the black female body in pain and in exquisite defiance and camaraderie; and we must be allowed that therapeutic moment of total absorption and sheer pleasure in watching black/female ownership of the means of production, naming of pain and its transcendence.

Lemonade is mellifluous, a sensuous and mesmerizing visual feast. We should enjoy it, without apology. Yet, so that we don’t completely fall, we need to be vigilant about the global status of women who do not have the economic freedom that Bey has or the ability to always participate in the very sensuous commodified fetishsation of the black female body that assures Bey’s own economic freedom and defiance.

Yes, I do think she glamorises violence. But I also believe that there is a space

Bell

fortherapeutic violence. Bey’s anger and glamorisation of violence was just not excessive enough, it is too demotic and sugary. The only excess was the sugar in her lemonade which tamed the tartiness of the lemons (lesbians).

It would have been a more empowering and radical gesture had she performed an artistic death on the cheating man. Abeg, where else can we go if not to the imaginative or the thought murder of our minds to exert bone crushing revenge that would not land us in jail?

Instead, with all her performativity violence and righteous anger, she simply returned to the cosy embrace of the Cheat, an act no different from the demotic.

For me, she therefore lost an opportunity to be truly radical or transformative. At the end of the day, both patriarchy and the heterosexual script remained intact and unworked. Had Bey killed the Cheat, I am sure hooks would have been on her side because she would have read it as defiance against patriarchy and the ‘straight mind’.

I like artistic or literary deaths as an unwillingness to accept or continue with norms; it is an opportunity to really jam the convention and ensure that all subjugating powers always sleep with one eye wide open. With Lemonade, the power structure is unprovoked and remained unshaken. This, is at the core of bell hooks’ critique, I believe. This is one of the reasons why I think a mother killing her own child in Morrison’s ‘Beloved’, is such a stunning and painful moment in literature, but a revolutionary act, that threatened the core of white plantocracy.

Bey

Bey should have gone all the way jor. And not doing so made the whole thing ultimately unsatisfying for me.

Personally, I believe Bey’s presentation of her autobiographical moment and bell hooks critique of it should be consumed side by side; they are both a reminder that there is still much work to be done in dismantling patriarchal domination and destructive hetero-normativity which Lemonade rightly names and then reconstituted in the family romance at the end.

We need both Beyonce and bell hook’s brand of feminism to continually interact and intersect, this is the only way each can refine and strengthen their position. I am grateful that they both exist.

 

17 Nigerian Women Slaying

 

There seems to be this image of a typical Nigerian woman as being a money-grubbing, marriage mad, religious freak. As most stereotypes go… it’s basically untrue, and today we present to you Nigerian Women who are slaying in the Arts, Humanities, Sciences, women who do not fit into that mold of a typical Nigerian woman. We present our WCWs…

Dr. Bibi Bakare-Yusuf – Publisher/Feminist

Funmi Iyanda – Activist/On-Air Personality

Nnedi Okorafor – Lecturer/Writer

Unoma Azuah – Lecturer/Human Rights Activist/Writer

Susan Obehioye – Make-up Artist

Pamela Adie – Human Rights Activist

Nkiru Njoku – Movie Producer/Feminist

Weird MC – Musician

Chimamanda Adichie – Writer/Feminist

Abimbola Adelakun – Writer/Journalist/Feminist

Akudo Oguaghamba – Human Rights Activist

Asa – Musician

Chinelo Onwualu – Writer/Feminist

Ayodele Morocco-Clarke – Lawyer

Bisi Fayemi – Writer/Feminist

Lola Shoneyin – Writer/Convener Ake Festival

Miss Sahara – First openly transgender Nigerian, Male to Female

Funmi Iyanda on the Scarcity of Men…

From the Editor’s Desk: Okay ladies, we know that one of the sentences we’ve heard said from childhood, in the over 500 languages spoken in Nigeria, is that ‘men are scarce’… and this is in face of the fact that the Nigerian Population Council busted this myth in the last census carried out  whereby the male population made up 54.9% of the population.

So, really, there are more men than women in Nigeria.

But just yesterday, the amazing Ms. Funmi Iyanda, in about three to four tweets, finally put this ‘scarcity of men’ myth  where it deserved to be, 6 feet underground.

Listen to her…

“Women are socialized (to be) too invested in men’s fidelity. Spending a lifetime trying to find or keep a man. It’s exhausting, tedious and boring.”

Do men know that women cheat?

“Men know that women cheat but are not as invested because they are not socialized to define themselves by scarcity of women.”

If men are not scarce then what is?

“Men are not scarce. A meaningful life is scarce. Pain is part of finding meaning. No one cheats anyone. We own no one but ourselves.

Live!”

…Oh and a final one on being ‘singus pringus’

“I’m a woman, I’m unmarried.  I’m not a “single lady”.  I’ve companionship. My high status needs no justification…”

No. More. Words.